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Fear of Holiday Loneliness

Nicole Carman 1 Comment
Fear of Holiday Loneliness

I spend many holidays alone. My parents are both dead and the rest of my family is scattered. I have my three children but they often spend holidays with their dad as it should be. I have learned ways to eliminate the fear of holiday loneliness.

There are many risk factors involved with loneliness including depression, reduced longevity, Alzheimer’s, reduced immunity. Defensive coping mechanisms can make you self-protective, avoiding social situations to avoid rejection and a defeatist outlook which means expecting or really ready to accept failure.

What Are The Risk Factors For Loneliness?

  • Depression
  • Alzheimer’s Disease
  • Suppresses our immune system
  • Stresses Your Cardiovascular Systems
  • Chronic Loneliness can affect how long we live


What Are The Defensive Coping Mechanisms of Loneliness?

  • Difficulty making new connections
  • Self-protective
  • Avoids more rejection
  • Not likely to reach out and initiate contact with anyone


Ways to Overcome Loneliness During The Holidays

Overcoming loneliness requires taking an emotional risk which is very scary for someone with chronic loneliness. Nobody wants to be rejected. Here are some ways to overcome loneliness. Try to have realistic expectations. Meet new people. Use self-care activities and more to have a happier holiday.

Have Realistic Expectations

  • Write about your reasons for loneliness: Much of my loneliness stems from isolation during a depression. I often lose friends when I isolate. I lost my sister from a bipolar rage.
  • Be kind to yourself and believe you can become less lonely.
  • Have realistic expectations: Let go of the past and focus on making things better now.
  • Many people struggle with the holidays: Find people who can talk about their struggles.
  • Rekindle old friendships and family relationships. Reach out to an old friend. Make a point to spend one-on-one time with friends and family.


Meet New People

  • Meet new people: If you are shy, spend time listening to them. I don’t want people to judge me right off the bat so I wait to share my mental illnesses with them. However, I do always share them with others.
  • Volunteer: You can contribute your time and skills to a cause that matters to you. You could ring bells for Salvation Army. You could help with Toys for Tots or Operation Bootstrap.
  • Contact your local Clubhouse: My local clubhouse has events on the holidays because many of us with mental illness do not have anyone to spend holidays with.
  • Join an activity group such as a church or the clubhouse again. is an online option.
  • Find a support group online or in-person to help you through this challenging time.


What Are Some Self-Care Activities That Can Help

  • Get enough sleep
  • Eat healthy
  • Relax with deep breathing, yoga, or a hot bath
  • Pray or meditate
  • Read
  • Blog
  • Church
  • Hike or nature walk
  • Exercise
  • Limit Social Media. It may make you feel more lonely.
  • To connect contact someone directly thru calling or messaging.


Take Away

Consider getting therapy to help manage your loneliness. Talk about your feelings about the upcoming holidays. Your therapist can help you work through them and come up with more strategies to overcome the loneliness. To learn more about lifelines, check here. Although suicide does not increase during the holidays, it’s still a good idea to have a crisis plan or have
these numbers ready:

  • Crisis Text Line – Text NAMI to 741-741
  • Suicide Hotline: 1-800-272-TALK

Surviving Loneliness Over The Holidays, Psychology Today
How to Cope with Loneliness During the Holidays, WikiHow

This post was written and contributed by Live Mentally Well.

Nicole Carman

My name is Nicole Carman and I’m a mental health advocate and writer who is diagnosed with bipolar II disorder, depression and anxiety. I'm the Founder of the Mental Health Awareness Project. I’m extremely passionate about raising awareness of mental health topics, including general mental health, mental wellness, and mental illnesses.

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1 Comment

  • THE JOYOUS LIVING November 26, 2018 at 11:34 AM

    great post! thanks for sharing the hotlines. those are so important and useful.

    Joy at

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    About Me

    About Me

    Nicole Carman

    Welcome to my own little space on the internet! My name is Nicole and this is my personal blog where I write about mental health. I’m extremely passionate about raising awareness of mental health and mental illnesses. I love helping and supporting others, spending time with my husband and cats, and traveling and exploring new places.

    Nicole Carman

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